Thursday, June 27, 2013

Pity Party of One Update

I update the Facebook daily but this blog is meant to update or keep informed more then a quick status. So these I'll just be doing weekly or if I have an update that is needed. Just wanted to use this blog to vent for a second but to update everyone on what Karmanos has told me.

Karmanos

So  after dealing with Henry Ford my meds were cut back and I had a seizure as a result. The appointment at Karmanos I got sicker and sicker and eventually was put on iv meds for 4 different medicines. They pumped me full of fluids, Zolfran which is awesome! Along with some of my other drugs. After I had to recover for two days but left great still do. Since I was so sick we had to remeet the dr and I got see more then his shoes this time!

So chemo meds were started on Tuesday and I have tolerated them well thus far. As of right now I take more medicine then I ever have in my life but they help so we will go with it. I do my essential oils too, that will be a blog in itself. But with everything I just rely on the big man upstairs.

Pity Party of One

So I have cancer for the second time. It sucks, makes me mad, makes me want to throw stuff but at the same time I have the attitude of bring it. Adversity in life happens, how you deal with it is everything. I honestly believe people handle things one of two ways. Either you deal with it headstrong or you fizzle off and die. So many times I have see people flat give up on things that I would consider trivial or I have seen seen people use their determination to rule the world and beat cancer. Myself I just chose to overcome this obstacle I am facing the same I always have, head on and with determination.

I know when people here I have stage 4 Melanoma that has spread through my body first thing they think is well she's on her deathbed. I am nowhere near my deathbed and I'm sure that makes my enemies upset but I don't care frankly. With the advancements of Melanoma research (new drug being approved next month for example) there is no need to boohoo as I will be here. The medical team seems to think this will work. The medicine they are giving me is approved by the FDA and the results from the study are huge. Who wants 70% reduction in tumors in 3 months? That would this lady over here. The research is promising so don't cry for me because I am too much of a broad to go anywhere.

People ask how do you stay positive? How do you stay so strong? How do you not curl up and want to die because I would?  It's a combination of things. Yes curling up and dying could be a option but what does that serve? I have a 4 month old child that would just teach her mommy is weak. The goal is to raise this child for greatness how can I do that when I am crying and a hot mess in the corner of a room? So here is what I have chosen to do.

I have chosen to do is to live life to the fullest. My daughter needs me on a daily basis not just on holidays. She needs me to feed her,rock her, assure her I'm ok she's ok and everything else mothers do. When I am sick she knows it so I got to stay well so she knows that everything in the world is fine and she's safe. Biggest thing is relying on my faith. Not everyone is a believer but I have decided to bury myself in faith, prayer and believing in a higher purpose to all this. As the verse says "I can do things through Christ which strengthens me." Philippans 4:13). This verse and the Serenity prayer have been the two things I have been holding on to when I waver in faith.

So for me I don't see this diagnosis as in a death sentence it is merely a bump in the road. Either way I choosing to live life with grace and dignity for how ever long that maybe(we going for 50 years or something longer).

So how can I help

This one is another I get and frankly I don't have a cool or good enough answer. I just ask for prayers because everything will be provided in one way or another. As of right now I can do things for myself and daughter but as the chemo goes on who knows. Weak and tired are the two side effects but not on deathbed yet. If I can think of away I need help I'll mention it. But main thing prayers,motivation and salutations are the biggest things right now.


Thank you and God Bless

Stephanie and Emberley


1 comment:

  1. :) Praying for you gal! Our LORD is an AWESOME GOD, and He Loves U!

    ReplyDelete