Power of Prayer

So yesterday was a white flag yes I cancer I forgot about that my bad kind of day. Since I can't drive right now due to three seizures and the inability to tell if my brain is still swollen no driving for me. In stead I have to rely on people and my to do list is now a Driving Miss Daisy list. We completed as much as we could on Saturday then completed some on yesterday.

First off had to use the motorized cart at Meijer. Three were broke and two had to be charged so it took about 15 minutes to get one. Being dizzy and lightheaded a cart was needed. Anyhoo, I never realized how rude people are and the fact they are not teaching their kids manners. Never got cut off so much in my life that at the end I just started being rude and riding in the center and tried to be annoying as much as I could. Then the one girl was being rude so I stopped the cart right in front of her. She was like um what are you doing? I said being a witch like you! And when I was trying to put the cart back to be nice some jerk was standing right where the carts were and I had to yell at him to move your in the wrong hole idiot! The rudeness was slap worthy for the 90 minutes it took to shop.

So got home, took a nap and woke up in pain. Not just any pain but pain so bad I couldn't talk, teeth clinched, tears rolling down come to Jesus moment kind of pain. Thank goodness for technology was able to text my mom don't come in the bedroom I need a moment. My painkillers that I was given my body does not like them and is started to not respond to them. I just get loopy and can't function. Guess that's ok if you dont have a 5 month old and like feeling like an addict. I will pass. Instead put on Facebook healing prayers are needed. Drank some water and rocked my body back and forth on the bed for 30 minutes. After that was able to stand, what a glorious feeling.

Having been independent my whole life it takes a moment to realize hey wait I am sick. Yesterday was one of those days. So when people ask how I'm doing this is how a rough or bad day goes for me.

How You Doing?

This is a question I get a lot and the answer really depends on that day. When people hear that you have stage 4 cancer they assume one your going to die the next day or two that the doctors gave you the wrong diagnosis and have no idea what they are talking about. I get a lot of the second one. How does someone get a diagnosis of stage 4 cancer at 33? Same way someone who is 6 months gets a diagnosis of neuroblastoma its the luck of the draw when it comes to your gene pool. I didn't get Melanoma by being a sunbather or tanning. With me it was about gene mutation and the fact that I had several sunburns as kid that resulted from water blisters. No one used sunscreen on us kids in the 80's it was all about baby oil or you'll be fine now go play.

However, back to the how you doing question. Everyday is a struggle. I try to not whine and complain thought some days as a patient the white flag goes up. Waking up at 3am with pain so bad in your shins you result to laying in the fetal position in the bathroom crying because you want your mother to hold you is not how I envision my Friday nights. Taking so many medicine is on my nerves. Not a fan of synthetic drugs in my system and every time I go back to Karmanos they want to give me 2 more. Quit taking the Prilosec because that was doing nothing. They screwed up the Zofran and decided it would be awesome to give me a sedating med in response. Apparently someone forgot that I have a 5 month old, being stoned off my behind does nothing. In response I decided to go back to my chiropractor. Best decision I made because he does muscle testing and found out that oils that I have been using my body is not a fan of. Awesome sauce nothing like wasting money. Anyhoo, going alternative this time along with the traditional method is proving to be challenging but I feel so much better.

As for how I feel today was a white flag kind of day as was yesterday. Got heartburn back, I was dizzy all day even had to use the motorized cart at Target which was embarrassing, but I am sick so guess you just got to go with it. Try to stay hydrated is becoming a chore. Mainly I think I do pretty good but I have my struggles. Just take things slowly, hug some walls, walk slower and breathe.

Newest Blog

I know I created a blog to keep everyone informed only thing is we are in limbo. See the doctor back next Friday but we are not expecting any changes. The appointment is pretty much to make sure I have the drugs regulated so more blood work ugh. September 9th are when the scans are going really show what has or has not worked. Praying the fireworks in my head I see and feel are the tumors breaking off. Main thing is to get this crazy steroids to go away. I eat so much and am bloated to where I feel like shrek.

Recently, went back to the chiropractor, started on some supplements for my liver and my adrenal glands. Also quit taking my pain drugs and my heartburn medicine and I feel like a new person. I function better which as a mom I feel less of loser to help take care of my daughter. We bond but some days it is an effort to get off the couch and those days I have to remind myself to rest and get better for her.

Well that's all the updates I got until I see the dr next Friday.

Good night

Stephanie